Dad's Eulogy

Good afternoon everyone. There is a saying, "God will not challenge you with more than you can handle". I can tell you that he does occasionally drag you to the edge of the cliff.

This is the 3rd time in 21 months that I stand in front of many of the same faces to celebrate the life of a deceased family member.

For Father's Day in 2009, I was asked by our parish priest in Russell to address the parishioners at the end of each mass and talk about fatherhood. I chose to speak about Dad, the impact he had on me and how that made me a better dad. Not a father, a dad. That's not a trivial difference.

I have lived my adult life trying to be half the man he was. I've failed numerous times but I keep trying. Maybe one day I will get there.

Athletes, movie stars and comic book characters, heroes in the eyes of many. For me, and I know for others in the family, dad was our hero.

There are many funny stories that dad shared with us over the years like accidentally killing his mom's best egg laying hen, propping it up on the nest so she wouldn't know and then when she came in to check for eggs she swatted the hen off the nest, it rolled onto the floor and she thought she had killed it.

I may or may not have stapled dad's socks, while on his feet, to the floor of Brian's house in the lane.

But those are stories for another time.

Laurie and I bought our first home in Fredericton many years ago. It needed cosmetic work like painting and replacing carpets with tile and laminate flooring, updated light fixtures, etc. I told dad what I was going to be doing with the house during the upcoming weekends and evenings after work. Dad packed the car with his tools and clothes and came to help.

He did the same for Eddie and Andrea at the house in Prospect.

Repairs and renovations to the house Ron had in Port Hawkesbury.

When we were preparing to sell that house to move to Antigonish. We were replacing the kitchen cabinets. Once again, dad was right there. I think it was his way of ensuring that we actually moved closer to home.

The house we bought in Antigonish, the decision was made based on dad's keen eye.

The many times he drove Hughie to appointments and for surgery for his kidneys. Driving Justin to or from work at the restaurant. Colleen's kids to school, or appointments while Hughie was at work.

Being there for Ron and with Ron during some of the most challenging times in his life. Many times saying nothing verbally, but making a statement by his presence and quiet support.

The drives to get Ron to work and pick him up from the gym. Picking up Ron's girls so he could spend time with them. Endless support through challenging situations.

Helping Brian and Laurie with repairs and renovations at the little house in the lane. And the sheer joy and depth of pride he had when they built their home on the old homestead of the extended Doyle family in Whiteside.

Being present to support Leanne and Darrell at the passing of Darrell's parents.

Sharing in the heartbreak of Eddie and Andrea at the loss of Heidi. Something only possible by someone who has lived that experience.

He was there for most of the important occasions in the lives of his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Missing only the ones where distance and then failing health was the challenge. My grown, adult children thoroughly enjoyed visiting with dad and hearing his many stories or going fishing with their papa.

I was just a little boy when dad was building the house I still call home. Dad was adding the plywood to the floor joists, he could have nailed the sheets down himself, but he saw an opportunity few others would have. He nailed down the 4 corners of each sheet, dropped down a chalk line at the center of each joist and drew X"s at the spots where he wanted each nail and had his boys nail down each sheet. Think of the time and patience that took vs just doing it himself. Patience was one of his strengths.

I have passed that on as best I could. Our granddaughter Mia helped me install baseboards at 3 years old and pulled the trigger on the nail gun. She's helped drill holes, put in screws and build things. I'm trying to do for her what dad did for me those many years ago.

Dad's heart and soul was his family. His pride and joy was in our successes. He accepted each of our spouses, no strings attached. Dad treated them like one of his own children.

And the tables turned as time went on and age and his overall health became a limiting factor. Along the way we had learned a thing or two working alongside Dad.

We were only too willing to provide mom and dad with the help and support that was always directed our way.

Replacing flooring throughout the house, light fixtures, painting, plumbing, taking over doing the firewood, the lawn, shoveling snow, the list goes on. He could no longer do, but was ever the supervisor. When Dad evaluated your work with an "oh, that's good". That was equivalent to an A+ in Clarence Landry's class.

Hughie began driving dad to appointments and trips to the ER just as dad had done for him years before.

Colleen and Ron ensuring he had someone with him 24/7 so his needs and care were always top of mind. This summer when Laurie and I came for vacation we took over for them to give them a break. I can't even begin to describe the love, patience, strength and sacrifice that they put into caring for dad.

One summer a few years ago, while down on my summer vacation, I saw dad doing laundry for him and mom, the washer was not wringing the clothes out properly and he was angry and frustrated and began wringing the clothes out by hand. He had a flyer on the table from the furniture shop in Port Hastings. He came to the table and said I've been looking at replacing that thing but it's expensive. Mr. Fix It was planning on pulling it apart to repair it. I asked him if he wanted to go see the washers that the shop had. So off we went. We looked at the washer he was interested in and he went around browsing the others.

I had an opportunity to pay back some of the many IOUs. I bought them the washer and dryer set. Had the lady complete the payment before he noticed and then went over to dad and told him that the lady at the counter wanted to see him. He looked at me and said, what the F did you do. I told him, nothing dad that you wouldn't have done for any of us. Hughie and I pulled out the old ones and installed the new ones and Dad supervised. We tested them and then got the A+ seal of approval, "Good". When the first load of laundry he put through the washer came out almost dry after the spin cycle was over. He said, oh my God, good. There's no comparable rating scale for that. So it must be close to "exceeded expectations" is all i can come up with.

Later that week we were standing on the deck and he was talking about the issues with the van and all the stuff he was going to have to do to it but with all the other things around the house and mom's declining health he didn't have the time. I talked to Brian and we planned to have Brian pick up my van in Ontario and transport it home, i would gift it to dad and Brian would complete any and all repairs that might be needed and Ron ensured any parts needed didn't cost dad anything. If this act could alleviate just one of his concerns it was a no brainer for us. That's what dad had instilled in us. Just before heading back to Ontario I told dad what the plan was for the van. With tears in his eyes he asked Why would you do that for me. Again, opportunities to give back to him and mom for their years of support and for dad's kindness to everyone.

Each time over the last few years when it was time to pack up and head back to Ontario he would say, I don't know how I am ever going to repay you. I would tell him, repay me for what. I help you just like you've helped many of us so many times. He was so genuinely humble and was a giver, and in being both he was incapable of recognizing the same gestures being returned to him. He never fully understood the acts of kindness he bestowed on others that could never be fully repaid.

Brian bought a new fridge to replace the one that had been in the house for too many years. Dad asked him what he owed Brian, nothing was the response. Dad's rebuttal, I don't know about you guys.

Ron has been buying the groceries, paper towels, toilet paper, etc. If dad wanted something, it magically appeared.

Ron has a sleeve tattoo on his right arm. The images represent mom, dad, Ron and his 3 girls. It is in honor of who he is and where he comes from. A tribute I'm so proud of him for.

Dad was so proud of his grandchildren and great grandchildren and spoke of them all the time. His face lit up with pride and joy at the sound of their voice. I have pictures of dad and mom with our grandkids that I will cherish more now than ever before.

Dad's health declined quickly after mom's passing. He did miss her dearly and I'm sure most of you saw him many mornings parked in front of her grave spending time and praying.

There are many people to thank and I don't want to miss anyone. You all know who you are and the role, no matter how big or small, you played in dad's life. I do want to call out the significance of the sacrifice of time and self from both Colleen and Ron as they cared for dad and also mom.

One last thing before closing off.

Most mornings for breakfast dad had a mix of two cereals in the same bowl. His cereal, (oatmeal) and mom's cereal (cheerios mom had for breakfast)

He told my wife Laurie that he mixed them together so he could still share breakfast with mom every morning. And now they're together again for eternity.

Love you Mom & Dad, until we meet again.

Ken

Dad,

What to say that has not already been said in all the tributes and condolences.

Some 36 years ago, mom and I secretly made a plan for me to come from Ottawa, to surprise Ken and meet the family. I stepped off the train in Port Hawksbury on a cold blustery, snowy evening in November and you and mom were there to welcome me and pick me up. We had only exchanged photos. Imagine my surprise when you with twinkle and a smile, gave me a hug and said, "Hello, welcome to our family!" Then with a that mischievous laugh, cause you were in on the plan. "Won't Kenny be surprised? He thinks we are at BINGO." From there family it was. You were Dad and Mom was mom to me.

As the In Law, I can honestly say from the moment you said WELCOME, you and mom both showed me love as if I was your own. Never made fell any less love than your own children.

Faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love. You quietly and humbly lived with your faith, hope, humbleness and love

Our vacation in August, was a blessing for me. I got to spend time with just you. Helping to care for you in ways I never thought I would have to. The hours just talking, or simply in silence while you slept, was an honor for me. Who knew this would be our final visit?

Your worries for all the things left to do. The thoughts of if I go now, I will disappoint everyone. As I said, we will all be sad, you will be missed terribly. No one will be disappointed in you. A job well done. You can rest easy, be with mom.

Until we are united in Heaven, I now have to tearfully and broken say good bye, Dad.

Love you

The first Laurie

Papa,

The most selfless man I've ever known. Something my own father learned from you; Dropping anything and everything to help your loved ones. In turn we all did the same for you and Nannie in recent years. The love you gave to us, we tried so hard to give back to you.

I will always remember going to Whiteside, to "help" you, my uncles and dad cut wood for the winter. Although Joe and I would just go off and pretend we are warriors in the forest while the men cut down trees. We would still be expected to help and pack the trailer with wood go back to the house and stack the wood with you.

I will always remember your love for laughter and cheer. Your endless stories that we loved to hear every chance we got. We all knew that you would eventually laugh yourself to tears as you got to the punchline. When you heard I was following your footsteps in the construction world. I watched your eyes gleam with joy as you got to tell me your stories of working in construction with Leo's crew. Telling Joe and I the stories of my father never told us of him growing up. I never cared if I heard the same story thousands of times before, as long as it was your voice telling it. You pretending not to hear Colleen and looking at us with a smile when you get a reaction out of her.

I will always remember you taking us fishing in Petis De Gras near Joshua Cove. Me as a six year old just learning basic math, being shown how to gut a fish by his grandfather. I've never been a good fisherman yet I still enjoyed everytime I went fishing with you. I remember the last time Joe and I went to visit you; We drove you, Peyton and Hudson down to Saint Peter's so you could finally fish again with your boys after many years. Peyton caught two fish, Hudson caught some rocks. I think all of us just enjoyed getting out to fish with our grandpa for the last time.

I will remember the lessons you've taught everyone just by the presence you've had in all of our lives. All the love and devotion you have given to all your kids, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and especially Nannie. A love and devotion I hope to one day be able to replicate to my family. A love like no other, a father like no other, husband like no other, grandfather like no other, a man like no other. I will forever miss and remember you.

Your loving grandson, Morgan

Thank you Hughie, Brian, Laurie, Savannah, and especially Colleen and Ron for the time you've spent taking care of Papa.

Our deepest condolences to Ken, Laurie, their kids, and the whole family. A special prayer for Edward and his loved ones. May he rest in peace. You are in our thoughts. Much love, Todd and Melina.

To all of Edward's family.

We are so sorry to hear of Edward's passing. We are sending much sympathy and love to all of you. Thank you for calling to let us know.

We'll keep all of you in our prayers.

Aubrey & Marjorie Doyle

Sydney

Papa,

I have tried to find the words to express the love and sorrow I feel, but they are all insufficient.

You taught me that the most valuable gift we can give our loved ones is our time. Whether you were spending the day fishing, running errands or simply sitting around the table chatting - the importance was being together. I hold dear every memory of our time together.

You may have been a carpenter by trade but you were a storyteller at heart. It did not matter how many times I heard your childhood tales, I wanted to hear them over and over again. I will miss watching your eyes light up brighter and brighter the closer you got to your punchline. I will miss the way your voice would cut out and your shoulders would start to shake as you succumbed to a fit of laughter. I cherish in my heart your chicken story and the time you came face to face with a ghostly woman at night.

I love you more than words can ever express.

I remain forever, your captivated audience.

Brittany

These words I can write will pale in comparison to the feeling of both immense love and emptiness currently circling my heart.

Grief is a stranger, and every new grief is a new stranger, you only learn to be acquainted or friends with it. Grief is also a feeling you can only experience for those you have loved. So many of us are carrying deep oceans of grief for your loss, the love shared with you in your different roles. A brother, friend, father, mentor, teacher, storyteller, papa, and more.

Papa is who you've always been to me. As my papa I saw glimpses of what you were as a dad through my own. Whether that was through the stories he told, you told, or watching the both of you together. Seeing the work ethic, the drop everything for family mindset, and the I can fix it attitude are all things I see in equal measure. How beautiful it is to leave such a reminder behind.

As my papa I saw what it was to be a teacher, you taught me stacking and splitting firewood, how to tie knots, how to swear without getting in trouble ( Jesus Mary and Joseph), and how to fish to name a few. I believe part of my love for water comes from the amount of hours spent near it learning to fish with you.

As a papa, I saw you purely love me. When I wanted to learn how to place flooring in our new houses you would always call me over. I'll never forget asking you when I was about 8, if you would teach me how to clean the freshly caught fish. You might have questioned if I was sure, but the smile was unforgettable. When I curiously asked if you had ever seen a fish brain the same day, you laughed and asked me "what do you think I am? A brain surgeon?"

As my papa, I saw patience. Patience as we all were learning, patience in waiting for nanny while she talked to every second person while doing groceries and not once did you complain or huff about how much time it took. When I asled about it once you said to me " All I have is time for every single one of you."

How lucky I am to have had a papa who loved like you, the impact you had as a papa is the kind I can see in my dad as the papa of my own kids. How lucky they will be to recieve this legacy of love. How lucky I am to have found someone, my Christophe, who carries the same patience for me that you had for everyone. How lucky I am to be your family, to pass on this legacy of love and time in my own life.

I will teach my kids to fish. I will walk the riverbanks and shorelines. I will continue to practice your level of other worldy patience. All in honor of you.

Until I see you again, let this grief be a reminder of how much you mattered, of all the love, of all our time.

Please accept our sincere condolences for your tremendous loss at the passing of Edward.

Thinking of you all.

Sincerely,

Sylvia & Janice Pottie

River Bourgeois

So sorry for your loss i only met Edward a few time at my daughter Laurie and Ken's wedding and when Amber was born. He was always very kind to me sincerly Donna Dunne

Dad, They say not all hero’s wear capes, and they are right. Some wear Flannel. Right now it’s tough to find the right words. I will miss your Smile, your contagious laugh, All the stories and your Hugs. But the love for All your family is ingrained in all your Children, Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren and will continue to be passed on down generations.

It was a great honour when we were finally able to bring you the news of buying the neighboring property to your old homestead. The Gleam in your eye is something I will never forget. How Proud you were that one of your children would walk the same dirt road you did daily as a young man. I’ll be forever greatful of the time we’ve spent together. Whether standing on a riverbank fishing, walking in the woods to gather firewood, the both of us up to our elbows in grease fixing something on some car, or building things together out of wood (although I could never do as good a job as you or ever have your patience). I’ll be forever Greatful of the skillset you’ve passed on.. the ability to fix or build things, to put others before yourself, to never look for recognition from others, to provide and help your family no matter what, however you can. So many times you’ve dropped everything you were doing to help anyone in the family in anyway you could.. no matter how big or small the need you were always just a phone call away.

It’s been a great honor as I’ve grown to be able to step up and return the favor and help you out. Whether working on the van, doing repairs around the house, driving you somewhere or taking care of your firewood. I’ll certainly miss doing that for you now. I’ve always hoped that I’ve made you Proud over the years, and I know deep down inside that you always were.

They say time heals all wounds.. but this one will never fully heal. I will always Love you and Miss you. Until one day we meet again, I LOVE YOU DAD

Love Brian

Dad,

Where does one begin to describe a father, grandfather, great grandfather, father in law, brother like you?

Being your daughter, and caregiver ( for the last almost 2 years) was one of the greatest honours one could ever have. Though some days were difficult for both of us ( especially in the last few months), they were time spent together. The Bible says “ honour your mother and your Father” and caring for both of you has given me a greater respect for your strength, faith, and devotion to each other.

Every little girl looks up to their Dad, and wants a man in their life to be just like him. I have hit the jackpot in that department. I have a husband, who when I see him, I see the qualities I always seen in you Dad. A man who is completely devoted to his family, a man who would do anything for anyone, a man that no matter what the world would throw at him, he would rise to meet it, someone who never looks for recognition ( but is so deserving of it) . You loved him like a son ( what a great honour to have given him) and he loved you like a father ( what more could a daughter have asked for).

You loved every one of your son/daughter in laws like one of your own, and they loved you as well. The loss they feel at your passing proves how much of an impact you have had on their lives. How they idolize you, speak so highly of you, you have molded and shaped them, like a piece of wood in a skilled carpenter’s hand.

You loved every one of your grandchildren, not one more than another, as each and every one of them held a string attached to your heart ( and they all knew which way to tug it). For my children ( and myself) you were for many years the “ personal taxi driver” as there were few days where one or another of our children wasn’t in need of a drive to school, to town for a Drs or dentist appointment or just down the road. You would drop whatever you were doing and happily go.

One day I know that will always stand out for both you and me, is the day after our son Daniel was born. You and Mom came up to visit me at the hospital, and the sheer pride on your face when you heard his name and he was placed in your arms. You had no idea that he was not only named after you, but also as a tribute to the names in your family tree.

You never missed an important event in our children’s lives, they could always count on Papa. The pride you had talking about any of your grandchildren right up until the end. How lucky they were to have had you as their role model.

Your love, and the way your face lit up whenever your great grandchildren visited, especially your little buddy ( our grandson) Jasper. You both had such a love for one another. It was always easy to see. And how much pride you had talking about him. He never left empty handed, as Poppy always had a little something for him.

The Sunday drives, the stories, the dances we shared ( even on the living room floor), your laughter, your smile, your kind heart, your generosity, your strength when times were tough, your faith ( and Mom’s as well) are things I will never forget and will carry with me until my last day.

There would never be enough space on any page, or in any book big enough to hold all the memories, love, sadness at losing you or the honour I feel. You were, and will always be this “ little girl’s” hero.

I will love and miss you forever, beyond the moon and stars, until the end of time.

Until we meet again Daddy

Love Colleen

The Family of Edward Doyle. So sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in family and friends at this difficult time. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Larry and Jackie Sampson

(Freddie Michaels son)

Dad, you were always my inspiration, my hero. I always said, if I could be half the man you are I would be happy. You helped me and each of your children and grandchildren in so many ways, small or large and your humbleness never allowed you to view it as giving of yourself. They say that time heals all wounds, but there is a void in my world that will never be filled. Love always and forever.

Ken